In This Episode, Connor Beaton Uncovers:

[01:30] The Myth of Masculinity

• Why men develop strength through suppression.
• How men cut themselves off from emotional information and who they truly are.
• Why it’s so common for men to lack emotional mastery.
• How men are finally being forced to face their emotions.
• Why numbness is not the same as emptiness.

Resources:

• Connor Beaton
• 509 Connor Beaton | Self-Discovery Through Shadow Work + How To Find The Perfect Partner
• 406 Connor Beaton | Your Pain Has Its Own Intelligence: Shadow Work, Fatherhood & Ending The War of Self
• Men’s Work by Connor Beaton

[05:45] How Men Cope with Emotions

• What coping mechanisms men use to deal with their emotions.
• How many men live in a constant state of stress.
• Why porn can serve as a relaxation tool.
• How men often assume that their emotions are too much too handle.

Resources:

• 754 Dr. Steven Young | How to Use Your Mind to Change Reality Beyond Limitations

[10:45] Men’s Initiation

• What led Connor to hit rock bottom
• How being held by a mentor saved his life.
• Why healing and growth start with confession.
• How Connor spent 2 years helping his mentor and learning wisdom from him.
• Why men need to talk about their pain.
• The importance of an initiation experience for men.

Resources:

• The Hero’s Journey by Joseph Campbell

[19:35] The Purpose of Rite of Passage

• Why we lack apprenticeship with an elder.
• How elders show us how immature we are.
• Why initiation can come through mentorship.
• The purpose of initiation.
• How young men don’t understand how to contribute to their community or society.
• Why most suicide notes from men contain the word “useless.”

Resources:

• What might interrupt men’s suicide? Results from an online survey of men

[26:20] Women Are Men’s Mirror

• How women mirror men’s shadows.
• Why women are often the catalyst for men to start their healing journey.
• Why there is so much anger between the genders.
• How social media can fuel our negative beliefs.
• Why men develop a sense of identity from hierarchy and competence.
• How women gain a sense of identity from networking.

[33:45] Vulnerability Is Not Enough

• The threats men face when they open up and become vulnerable.
• Why men need to work on their emotional mastery.
• How women want men who have emotional mastery.

Resources:

• 756 Alison Armstrong | Top Secrets Women Have Never Known About Men (Until Now)

[38:40] Don’t Become Your Emotions

• How vulnerability can be transactional and why it’s toxic.
• Why men need to understand what’s happening inside of them.
• How men are used to immediately reacting to their emotions.
• Why most men experience life in a very intense way.

[49:50] Do All Wounds Come from The Mother?

• Why all wounds originate from the mother.
• How motherhood is a challenging job.
• What Connor has learned through his son.
• How he helps his son co-regulate his nervous system.
• Why he felt jealous of his son.

Resources:

• It Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn

[58:20] Where The Work Begins

• How we can stop judging our emotions.
• Why men are terrified of sitting with their emotions.
• The importance of slowing down and observing what’s happening inside of us.

[01:02:55] Bring Light to Your Shadow

• How our shadow manifests in our lives.
• Why we avoid looking at our shadows.
• How nice guys need to connect with their anger.
• Why the ego only wants to focus on problems.
• How bringing truth forward creates trust with our partner.

[01:09:15] Change Requires Confrontation

• Why men need to do the hard things they don’t want to do.
• How avoiding the hard stuff weakens men.
• Why men don’t feel confident enough to confront their shadows and emotions.
• How women benefit from men knowing themselves better.
• Why we should choose a partner with whom we can navigate conflicts.

“Men wake up stressed, they go to work stressed, they interact with their kids stressed, they interact with their partner stressed. And there’s no relief from this sympathetic orientation. It’s like the rev limiter on your car that’s always right about to redline. And that’s how a lot of men in our society work.” — Connor Beaton

Leave Wellness + Wisdom a Review on Apple Podcasts

All Resources From This Episode

• Connor Beaton
• 509 Connor Beaton | Self-Discovery Through Shadow Work + How To Find The Perfect Partner
• 406 Connor Beaton | Your Pain Has Its Own Intelligence: Shadow Work, Fatherhood & Ending The War of Self
• Men’s Work by Connor Beaton
• 754 Dr. Steven Young | How to Use Your Mind to Change Reality Beyond Limitations
• The Hero’s Journey by Joseph Campbell
• What might interrupt men’s suicide? Results from an online survey of men
• 756 Alison Armstrong | Top Secrets Women Have Never Known About Men (Until Now)
• It Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn

Josh’s Trusted Products | Up To 40% Off