Start the Conversation With Empathy
You might be concerned that saying the wrong thing could make the situation more difficult. However, avoiding the subject altogether can leave the person feeling isolated. Find a calm, private place where you can give the person your full attention and plenty of time to talk. Begin the conversation by sharing what you have noticed instead of making assumptions about what they are experiencing.
You might say that you have noticed they seem overwhelmed, withdrawn, or unusually tired and that you are concerned about them. Asking open-ended questions can help the person feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.
Psychology professor Nick Allen says that listening “can be very challenging because the listener often feels uncomfortable and feels the need to fix the situation quickly. However, this can make the person sharing their experience feel worse.”
A study published in the journal Nature found that individuals who showed empathic concern were more likely to offer assistance. Making an effort to understand what your loved one may be going through can have a meaningful impact. This goes beyond showing kindness; it can influence how people respond and cope.
Encourage Professional Help Without Being Forceful
Someone experiencing mental health difficulties may recognize that they need help. But they may also feel embarrassed, uncertain, afraid, or overwhelmed by the idea of seeking treatment.
A Cureus study highlights that mental health stigma can prevent people from seeking care promptly and may contribute to poorer long-term outcomes. Having honest, supportive conversations with your loved one can help reduce some of the stigma surrounding mental health care.
In some situations, appropriate access may also become a challenge. If you can’t find a licensed therapist, a nurse with a Master of Science in Nursing – Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner (MSN-PMHNP) can also help. They are trained to diagnose, treat, and prescribe medication when needed, as stated in the outcomes of Cleveland State University's program.
Many clinicians complete an online MSN-PMHNP program to build such expertise. This kind of flexible, rigorous training has helped expand access to psychiatric care nationwide.
But instead of demanding that they see someone, explain why you are concerned and offer to help them explore their options. You could help research providers, make a list of questions for an appointment, arrange transportation, or accompany them if they want company.
Helping Close the Treatment Gap
Many families feel that mental health receives less attention than physical health. A Gallup survey supports this perception, with about 75% of Americans saying mental health conditions are treated less effectively than physical illnesses. Of this, 38% said they are handled “much worse,” while 37% said, “somewhat worse.”
This difference highlights the need for family members to advocate for their loved ones. Your involvement can help address gaps that the healthcare system may sometimes overlook.
It is also worth recognizing that treatment may sometimes need to involve more than the person directly experiencing the problem. The Conversation highlights an important connection within families. Children may face a greater risk of long-term mental health challenges when their parents experience financial difficulties or unstable housing.
Thus, providing support to parents can also help create better conditions for the children in the household. A stable home environment often depends on the caregiver having a sense of security and support.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can you support a loved one who refuses to discuss their mental health?
Give them space while keeping communication open. Repeatedly pressing someone to talk can make them more uncomfortable, but completely withdrawing can increase isolation. Reassure them that you are there for them whenever they feel comfortable opening up. You can also maintain ordinary conversations and activities so every interaction does not revolve around their mental health.
What if a loved one blames themselves for their mental health struggles?
Self-blame can make emotional distress harder to manage. Remind your loved one that mental health conditions can have many contributing factors, including biology, life experiences, stress, and other circumstances. Avoid telling them that their situation is their fault or that they should be able to overcome it through willpower alone.
Should family members learn about a loved one's mental health condition?
Accessing trustworthy information can help family members better understand their loved one’s experiences and correct common misunderstandings. However, education should not replace professional guidance or lead relatives to diagnose symptoms themselves. If the person is comfortable sharing information, family members can learn about treatment options, potential challenges, and ways to provide appropriate support.
Mental Health Facts and Statistics
| Americans experiencing anxiety at least partly due to current events | 62% |
| Americans experiencing anxiety due to financial concerns | 62% |
| Adults feeling lonely at least once a week | 40%+ |
| Americans who believe mental health conditions are treated less effectively than physical illnesses | Around 75% |
| Americans saying mental health conditions are treated “much worse” | 38% |
When someone you care about is struggling with their mental health, you do not need to have all the answers. Your most valuable contributions may be listening without judgment, recognizing changes in behavior, encouraging professional care, offering practical assistance, and staying connected.
There is also a limit to what friends and family can provide. Mental health professionals can provide evaluations and treatment when symptoms continue, become serious, or interfere with everyday activities. Understanding this limit is an important part of supporting someone you care about.
